Thursday, March 24, 2005
It's the family, stupid
Another quick post for today, since I didn't write anything last night and my post from a few minutes ago was motivated by anger.
I got home from work last night feeling funky. I was tired, naturally, and work had been nuts. But I had also talked to my friend Thad, who did go to Boise and did have a great time. I was somewhat pouting over this news...not that I wanted him to have a bad time, but woe is me, I didn't get to go and blah blah blah. Didn't I already say ENOUGH about Boise? I did, and yet here I am again.
Nicola helped set me straight on a walk around the block, and she did it in her usual awesome way -- not by getting mad and yelling and screaming or getting emotional, but by getting quiet. Boy, then I know I've fucked up. Where I've fucked up is apparent in looking back at the entries in this blog -- it's all about me, and not really me right now. I think it's OK to reminisce and tell amusing (or semi-amusing) stories and remember the good times, but what about now? These are good times too, but of a different sort, and I'm afraid I've gotten distracted from enjoying and treasuring what is right in front of my face.
This is what Nicola, indirectly, reminded me of, and what had been nagging at me the past few days as I blogged. Look at what I have, and rejoice in that, and be in that. I have been through a lot to get to this stage in my life...so please, Self, be in the moment instead of looking ahead, or worse, back. Get the priorities straight and keep them straight.
With this in mind: HAPPY ONE-MONTH BIRTHDAY, BEAN (LINDSAY CAMPBELL TAGGART)! As of today, you've been with us for 4 weeks, and I'm even more head over heels enthralled with you than I was on Feb. 24. I can't believe how much you've changed just in the past week. Some things to note:
I got home from work last night feeling funky. I was tired, naturally, and work had been nuts. But I had also talked to my friend Thad, who did go to Boise and did have a great time. I was somewhat pouting over this news...not that I wanted him to have a bad time, but woe is me, I didn't get to go and blah blah blah. Didn't I already say ENOUGH about Boise? I did, and yet here I am again.
Nicola helped set me straight on a walk around the block, and she did it in her usual awesome way -- not by getting mad and yelling and screaming or getting emotional, but by getting quiet. Boy, then I know I've fucked up. Where I've fucked up is apparent in looking back at the entries in this blog -- it's all about me, and not really me right now. I think it's OK to reminisce and tell amusing (or semi-amusing) stories and remember the good times, but what about now? These are good times too, but of a different sort, and I'm afraid I've gotten distracted from enjoying and treasuring what is right in front of my face.
This is what Nicola, indirectly, reminded me of, and what had been nagging at me the past few days as I blogged. Look at what I have, and rejoice in that, and be in that. I have been through a lot to get to this stage in my life...so please, Self, be in the moment instead of looking ahead, or worse, back. Get the priorities straight and keep them straight.
With this in mind: HAPPY ONE-MONTH BIRTHDAY, BEAN (LINDSAY CAMPBELL TAGGART)! As of today, you've been with us for 4 weeks, and I'm even more head over heels enthralled with you than I was on Feb. 24. I can't believe how much you've changed just in the past week. Some things to note:
- I call you "Bean" at times, from "Butterbean" -- a nickname I started using because...I don't know
- You are much more alert and interactive: testing out your voice, kicking your and waving your arms, making eye contact (not the "I'm looking through you" gaze of your first days).
- You hung out in your "activity gym-thing" on the floor yesterday, for the first time (so I'm told)
- You like your swing, and when in doubt, the sling works like a charm
- Your mom and dad are getting a little better at figuring out what you need
- You are starting to wear actual clothes! Not just onesies and t-shirts and sleepers, but outfits. This means much more to your mom than it does to me
- You enjoy hanging out with Grandma Bobo and Granpda Toe, who arrived last night
- You are drinking from a bottle once a day like a champ
- I haven't had a chance to participate in a real "bath" (submersion) yet, but tonight could be the night!
- Today is your first trip to San Francisco, first boat ride, first trip to dad's office, etc. Ahh, milestones
- You are just about the most beautiful thing I've ever seen...especially during your peaceful sleep, when your brow is untroubled and your lip isn't quivering, and especially especially last night, when you were sleeping in the crook of your mom's arm as you both dozed on the bed
- You slept on your side a lot last night, and that seemed to work well
- Next week is our first road trip. We're off on Monday to Vista to be with the Nicola's family for her grandfather's service
- Auntie Kiki sent another big box of clothes; she's really helping us out with the duds
- Your mom and dad have been remiss in getting out announcements and thank yous
- Big sister Ella is over for the weekend, starting tonight
- I'm writing down way too much random stuff
The end.
// posted by Bill @ 9:16 AM 
