Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Home silent home
It's awful quiet here, as Nicola and Lindsay flew out yesterday afternoon on short notice to be by the bedside of Nicola's dying grandmother. They made it in time, and today Frances woke up and saw her granddaughter and great-granddaughter there, which made everyone happy. They know it's her time, and they're OK with it and hoping for a peaceful end.
It all happened rather fast on this end -- an e-mail Tuesday morning saying she was on the decline after a weekend fall where she broke her arm/elbow, and then a doctor saying it might only be a day or two before she passed, and Nicola and I talked about her going, and off she went.
110 days of Lindsay's life, and I've been with her for every one. Today is day 111 (interestingly, my dorm room number in college), and I miss her smile and squeals and her bright eyes in a very real way. I used to be one who looked forward to my time alone, apart from the obligations and drone of family life. I don't mean to make it sound bad like that -- it was just nice to get away, or be at home alone for a little bit. Maybe it was my circumstances, or my stubborn last vestiges of immaturity. Now...it feels different. A night of VH1's "100 top kid stars" is relaxing (and brain deteriorating), but my right place is with Nicola and Lindsay and Ella, not here rattling around. Two hours off playing hockey on the weekends is enough away time, thank you; I don't need business trips or guys weekends (well, maybe eventually). I want my girls back!
While I pine away from the Little One and my sweet wife, I do get to spend the next two days with Ella. And I'll probably hit a movie one night with Eric and play hockey Saturday. If I must be alone, at least I can make the best of it!
Music playing: Best of Smashing Pumpkins
Book Reading: Tender at the Bone, Ruth Reichl
It all happened rather fast on this end -- an e-mail Tuesday morning saying she was on the decline after a weekend fall where she broke her arm/elbow, and then a doctor saying it might only be a day or two before she passed, and Nicola and I talked about her going, and off she went.
110 days of Lindsay's life, and I've been with her for every one. Today is day 111 (interestingly, my dorm room number in college), and I miss her smile and squeals and her bright eyes in a very real way. I used to be one who looked forward to my time alone, apart from the obligations and drone of family life. I don't mean to make it sound bad like that -- it was just nice to get away, or be at home alone for a little bit. Maybe it was my circumstances, or my stubborn last vestiges of immaturity. Now...it feels different. A night of VH1's "100 top kid stars" is relaxing (and brain deteriorating), but my right place is with Nicola and Lindsay and Ella, not here rattling around. Two hours off playing hockey on the weekends is enough away time, thank you; I don't need business trips or guys weekends (well, maybe eventually). I want my girls back!
While I pine away from the Little One and my sweet wife, I do get to spend the next two days with Ella. And I'll probably hit a movie one night with Eric and play hockey Saturday. If I must be alone, at least I can make the best of it!
Music playing: Best of Smashing Pumpkins
Book Reading: Tender at the Bone, Ruth Reichl
// posted by Bill @ 9:53 PM 
