Monday, July 11, 2005
What's ours is ours
Why do we have that black wrought iron candle thing on the book case? What's with this vase? Oh, one of us answers, I had that with "x" or "y" or "it was a gift." No, we don't really have these conversations, but metaphorically, it works -- we live in a house surrounded by his and hers, when it should be ours. We have "ours" too -- nice photos or what have you that represent our life together. But there's too much that's not us. It took about two years of living in Alameda for this nagging concept to rise to the surface, but rise it has...accompanied by a mounting need to rid our house of clutter and make things more simple. Boy, those two impulses go nicely together, don't they.
We've started small (the wrought iron candle thing is gone) and big (my fast-as-shit, 5-speed, V6 Jetta with leather interior, sunroof, etc., has been traded in for...gulp...a Toyota Sienna minivan). The car move makes so much sense -- we could barely fit both Ella and Lindsay in the back of the Jetta, which is the BIGGER of our two cars. And while I was sad to see the Jetta go -- it being a symbol of my freedom, in some way, after my marriage ended -- I'm also OK with the symbolism of the van: a true family vehicle that serves us in the life we have now.
"Us" is a family, with Lindsay approaching five months and Ella headed to kindergarten. And it's Nicola and I finding time to reconnect (babysitter this Friday!). And it's many more things that I won't belabor but that I'll simply say I love about where I find myself.
The picture included here represents one more thing I'll say I dig about my life: my in-laws. This is Phoenix, Nicola's stepmom, and she's great, as is Nicola's dad Tom. They've been so welcoming and supportive and loving to me, and now they are embracing Ella and Lindsay like the best grandparents you can ever imagine.
Not much is missing...except a few really close friends to share our lives with. We are making new friends here in the SF area, and there's definitely some potential for close, long-term friendships. But man, we left behind some wonderful friends in Portland, of which were were reminded during our recent trip there. If my pal Thad was close by, and all the zaniness and laughs and angst and comfort that goes with our friendship, I would truly be blessed. Same, I think, for Nicola with Molly and maybe some others...my others might be Gene, Dave Mello, Louis. Anyway, there's nothing like great friends with whom you feel totally at ease...where you are truly yourself without even trying. That is a gift that I've been lucky to experience and hope to again with somebody local (gee, stalker much?).
I make no promises about regular blogging from here on out. I'll do it when the mood strikes...and I'm sure I should have more to say about the bellwether event of buying a minivan, for example.
