Wednesday, September 21, 2005
DTNRT
The philosophy I've tried to follow, just lately, is Do The Next Right Thing. I'm admittedly late at arriving to the Buddhist way of approaching life, and I haven't gone any deeper than this tidbit of wisdom. I ran across it on one of the blogs I read, I think Ian's, and it struck me in such a way that I've not been able to get it out of my head for the past few weeks.
I'm not sure I can follow this philosophical order all the time, but it seems like a good place to start.
It seems to me there are two ways to apply it: within the pure Buddhist construct of "do the next right thing, regardless of the past bullshit and baggage...in fact, ignore what's come before and don't worry about what comes next -- just do the next right thing" (a horribly rough attempt at synopsizing) -- OR the other way is a bit more selfish: "do the next right thing, within the context of everything that has led to this moment." Can you follow a Buddhist mantra selfishly? I don't know, but I think I'm trying.
The recent crap with my Dad (I promise, I'm almost done bitching for a day or two) is an example. I could call him and see how he's doing with my grandfather's illness...forgetting the mountain of evidence that tells me that no matter what I do to reach out to him or support him or build our relationship, he will be unable to hold up his end of it and I'll be disappointed. Or, I could take all that shit into consideration, and say to myself: "The next right thing to do for me is to just leave it alone and spare myself the disappointment, frustration and sadness that will inevitably come." Yeah, that feels right for now. Bygones still matter in this little dance I do with my father.
My friend Eric has come to a place where he's made a cleaner break with his dysfunctional, emotionally crippled father. I admire him for that and for how he's overcome parental influences that would have left lesser man sucking their thumb in a corner for a few decades. As you can tell by my recent posts, I'm still not completely disengaged from my father...I still want to have hope that he'll see the light.
Speaking of father influences and Buddhism, my father-in-law Tom was on a kick during their recent visit to attempt to view things as neither good nor bad -- they just are. A noble principle...but one that, again, comes out a bit twisted when I crank it through my brain and experiences and perspective.
Anyone else got a guiding philosophy you'd care to share?
DTNRT: share some happy family photos...these from our recent wine tasting/picnic excursion to Napa:
I'm not sure I can follow this philosophical order all the time, but it seems like a good place to start.
It seems to me there are two ways to apply it: within the pure Buddhist construct of "do the next right thing, regardless of the past bullshit and baggage...in fact, ignore what's come before and don't worry about what comes next -- just do the next right thing" (a horribly rough attempt at synopsizing) -- OR the other way is a bit more selfish: "do the next right thing, within the context of everything that has led to this moment." Can you follow a Buddhist mantra selfishly? I don't know, but I think I'm trying.
The recent crap with my Dad (I promise, I'm almost done bitching for a day or two) is an example. I could call him and see how he's doing with my grandfather's illness...forgetting the mountain of evidence that tells me that no matter what I do to reach out to him or support him or build our relationship, he will be unable to hold up his end of it and I'll be disappointed. Or, I could take all that shit into consideration, and say to myself: "The next right thing to do for me is to just leave it alone and spare myself the disappointment, frustration and sadness that will inevitably come." Yeah, that feels right for now. Bygones still matter in this little dance I do with my father.
My friend Eric has come to a place where he's made a cleaner break with his dysfunctional, emotionally crippled father. I admire him for that and for how he's overcome parental influences that would have left lesser man sucking their thumb in a corner for a few decades. As you can tell by my recent posts, I'm still not completely disengaged from my father...I still want to have hope that he'll see the light.
Speaking of father influences and Buddhism, my father-in-law Tom was on a kick during their recent visit to attempt to view things as neither good nor bad -- they just are. A noble principle...but one that, again, comes out a bit twisted when I crank it through my brain and experiences and perspective.
Anyone else got a guiding philosophy you'd care to share?
DTNRT: share some happy family photos...these from our recent wine tasting/picnic excursion to Napa:
// posted by Bill @ 3:50 PM 
