Thursday, December 15, 2005
Taggart Show
Ever have those surreal moments where you can't quite believe where you are or the thought of how you got to point X, today, right now, is kind of mind boggling...if not unbelievable?
Had one of those last night, riding up Nob Hill on the back platform of a cable car, watching Alcatraz shrink in the distance, trying to remember when I'd done this before and under what circumstances. Hey, didn't my ex-wife's friend live right on this line, near this corner? Hey I rode the cable car back to downtown when I was here for work in 1999 -- yeah, Nicola was with me. This restaurant...this block...wait, my old Chatham pal Nikki used to live on this street. I crashed at her place once...we celebrated birthdays? God, that's fuzzy. But it must be around here -- she used to complain about the bells from Grace Cathedral, and that's right over there.
Sometimes it's like life is on a loop...on the Truman Show (on TV tonight), the woman on the red bike came around the block every 10 minutes. In real life, it's a bit more irregular...and yet I do find myself crossing my own path...weeks, months, years later...and boy, how the circumstances have changed. Once a tourist, a business traveler, a visitor -- now a worker in the city, a commuter, a local.
It was a fun little ride last night, even if they now gouge you for $5. Ridiculous. And I hopped off and strolled down a steep hill, the Transamerica Pyramid looming down the hill like a giant Christmas tree topped by a full moon, lightly shrouded in fog. I'm not feeling the poetic vibe tonight, as you can tell. But at least I'm writing...and that feels good.
My little closing thought to the universe tonight: bring some peace of mind and some rest and some good health to my dear Nicola, who is dragging a bit physically, emotionally and spiritually right now. She's the emotional engine of our little world -- she makes us go, most often for the good (happy, dynamic, challenging, honest) but sometimes for the not so good. There's a bit of fog settled over our house too, and I'm doing my best to burn it off. She shouldn't have to carry all the burden...but she does bear the brunt...she's the creamy filling in the Twinkie, the tootsie roll in the tootsie pop -- she's what makes us good, underneath it all.
Last night's concert was a nice outing -- reminiscent of our pre-parental days. Wonder if it made her miss our...freedom?
We've got busy times ahead -- let us find the enjoyment in the holiday hustle, and let us find the quiet moments in between the chaos to enjoy the season and each other and our two beautiful girls.
Had one of those last night, riding up Nob Hill on the back platform of a cable car, watching Alcatraz shrink in the distance, trying to remember when I'd done this before and under what circumstances. Hey, didn't my ex-wife's friend live right on this line, near this corner? Hey I rode the cable car back to downtown when I was here for work in 1999 -- yeah, Nicola was with me. This restaurant...this block...wait, my old Chatham pal Nikki used to live on this street. I crashed at her place once...we celebrated birthdays? God, that's fuzzy. But it must be around here -- she used to complain about the bells from Grace Cathedral, and that's right over there.
Sometimes it's like life is on a loop...on the Truman Show (on TV tonight), the woman on the red bike came around the block every 10 minutes. In real life, it's a bit more irregular...and yet I do find myself crossing my own path...weeks, months, years later...and boy, how the circumstances have changed. Once a tourist, a business traveler, a visitor -- now a worker in the city, a commuter, a local.
It was a fun little ride last night, even if they now gouge you for $5. Ridiculous. And I hopped off and strolled down a steep hill, the Transamerica Pyramid looming down the hill like a giant Christmas tree topped by a full moon, lightly shrouded in fog. I'm not feeling the poetic vibe tonight, as you can tell. But at least I'm writing...and that feels good.
My little closing thought to the universe tonight: bring some peace of mind and some rest and some good health to my dear Nicola, who is dragging a bit physically, emotionally and spiritually right now. She's the emotional engine of our little world -- she makes us go, most often for the good (happy, dynamic, challenging, honest) but sometimes for the not so good. There's a bit of fog settled over our house too, and I'm doing my best to burn it off. She shouldn't have to carry all the burden...but she does bear the brunt...she's the creamy filling in the Twinkie, the tootsie roll in the tootsie pop -- she's what makes us good, underneath it all. Last night's concert was a nice outing -- reminiscent of our pre-parental days. Wonder if it made her miss our...freedom?
We've got busy times ahead -- let us find the enjoyment in the holiday hustle, and let us find the quiet moments in between the chaos to enjoy the season and each other and our two beautiful girls.
// posted by Bill @ 10:54 PM 
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Oh, my sweetheart...and I read this after I ripped you a new one on the phone. All I can say is that I am trying...trying to just ride the wave, take the emotions as they come, and at the same time change some of my thinking. We've created this together...and we can create this to look, feel and be however we want it to moving forward. I think I just need a few more hours of sleep, a clear nose, a healthy child and a good haircut before I can tackle our 2006 "vision" in a positive and productive way.
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